shower thoughts

21 November 2007

It’s senseless.To bug you to read these ruminations (or ruinations) I’ll type (or typed?)

To make you feel dread, restraint, guilt, vexation.

The exact feelings I have right now.

Is there such a thing called absolute freedom?

It’s been a question I’m asking in the front of the mirror… before the very first drop of water warms my body in this almost-winter morning.

And then a long pause.

None of course.

Then one thinks, “What can you call one’s power to act, speak, and think without someone blowing one’s head?”

There, the much coveted liberty lies. But with some degree of limitations.

I don’t know if I’m making sense. I don’t care. And I do at the same time.
Oh! Is that a good example of all these nonsense? I mean freedom?
When you mind only of what you want to say, think and act and just do it because it gives you pleasure just for the heck of it then you attain a kind of absolute freedom.

Like if you want to say to that asshole of a cabdriver, ‘you *uc*in’ maniac! Can you get your eyes to that *uc*ing road!’ because you notice he’s been busy eyeing your enormous bosom.

But due to… er…. restrictions… like your mom told you bad words gonna cut your tongue in the next lifetime or because it’s against the code of conduct to blabber the f-word to anyone, you’re going to compose yourself and say ‘is there a problem?’ in the politest way possible or just completely ignore it because Tatay’s will punish him for his voyeurism whatever.

Selfish gratification halts the limits. But when we start to be considerate of other’s feelings and thoughts and the way our acts going to affect or offend them, then that is the time we let go of the I’s. “To hell, I want to say this, I want do this, I want to think this”.

We start to be human and start brushing off the idea of perfect, untainted freedom.

Hey, am I philosophizing?

In an existentialist point of perspective, yes I am. It’s just I didn’t sound scholarly enough.
Ok. Let me then rephrase my conclusion quoting David Banach’s Ethics of Absolute Freedom.

“The ethics of absolute freedom, it would seem, are not absolutely free. To be free we must take on the responsibility of choosing for all men, we must desire and work for the freedom of all men, and we must create ourselves within the context of the relationships and obligations we have to other people.”

I hope this entry is not that senseless at all.


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